To my surprise, complete strangers have had a powerful impact on the direction of my life. I often remember one of those times in my mid-twenties standing in line at a local grocery store.

I stopped into a grocery store across town to quickly pick up a few things. Standing in line holding what I came for, an elder woman got in line behind me. She stood there for a moment, and she suddenly began to speak. I still remember exactly where she started our conversation. “These are my dancing shoes” she started.  She pointed to her shoes and proceeded to tell me how she and her husband went out dancing a couple of days a week and how much joy it brought to her and her relationship. She loved dancing with him. I loved listening to her.

Soon enough I was at the front of the checkout and the cashier and I were finishing our exchange. I turned to the elder woman behind me in line to say goodbye and wish her well. As I turned to walk away, she said to me, “If you don’t love him, don’t marry him”. Her comment landed and I froze for a moment. It had been less than a year since I had moved to this Colorado town. What had brought me here was a relationship. Oddly I had never mentioned my relationship to this stranger in line with me.

He and I met in the mid-west.  I had moved to there for a job with hopes that with my additional languages and global experience, they would move me overseas eventually. I had grown up overseas and had this vision that would be my life. While I waited for my opportunity, I decided to keep my language skills up and take a French class and that is where we met. I began working long hours and didn’t make it to class much and we lost touch.

We met again almost two years later at work this time. We began dating. Several months went by and I realized it was time for a change. After three years, it was obvious that my language skills were losing their edge and the company didn’t want/need me overseas. I was burnt out, disappointed, and decided I needed to find another path if I were to get overseas. We were going our separate ways.  I headed to Vermont for a Master’s program and he decided to transfer to Colorado.

On my way to Vermont, I made a U-turn. It dawned on me that I wanted relationships and people to be an important part of my life and I was walking away from that, so I headed to Colorado and we moved in with each other. 

Now here I was, almost a year later, standing in the grocery store taking in her comment. She was right. Although I loved this man, I didn’t quite in the way that I could imagine myself as a wife. Soon after he and I were heading our separate ways again.

I never regretted choosing that relationship over the possibility of a path overseas. It was exactly what I needed then; it just wasn’t what I needed forever. To this day I am grateful for that poignant and timely message from the sweet dancing stranger.

I am so grateful for all the strangers who have stepped into my life and stood out like signposts, pointing me along the way. Sometimes it was a question they asked, a story they told, or a comment they made. At other times it was simply who they were, how they stood in the room, a gesture they made, or their careful attention placed on something. Thanks for being there and the gifts you brought me.

Maybe someday, when I am older, I will be in the grocery store with my dancing shoes on and simply say the right thing at the right time to the young woman in front of me to support her along her journey.