You might be wondering why I titled this blog, A Map From Here. I think reflecting on this question would be a great place to start. This phrase arose in the context of observing a pattern that has come up over and over in my life. The path of the journey becomes clearer with each step forward. Each step brings new perspectives, experiences, and insights. When I pay attention, and take in all that arises, the course of my journey adjusts and shifts; it becomes more precise, more aligned. I have found that this is where I start, from here, with each step leading to the next. The way forward is from here, A Map From Here.

It has taken me quite some time to see this pattern and to be willing to have this reciprocal relationship with my journey. I’ve ignored lessons on my journey; I’ve stubbornly set sail and moved forward without being present to my surroundings, to myself; I’ve wandered aimlessly; I’ve followed strict schedules; I’ve refused to step forward; I’ve ignored the stories of others; I’ve adopted beliefs that led to dead ends. I’ve also searched; I’ve followed the breadcrumbs; I’ve listened to my body and my heart; I’ve taken responsibility; I’ve tried new things; I asked questions; I’ve taken in the advice of others; I’ve been willing to learn. I’ve felt lost and I’ve felt inspired.

Finding the path, and finding our place in the world is a discovery journey in and of itself. It took me many years to recognize my path and to gain some clarity in what direction I need to head and what guides me forward. I wanted to find my way and my place in this world and with it find some peace in my being. I craved this, longed for this, and eventually began to search for it. It had to be out there somewhere. Both desire and uncomfort motivated me initially. The landscape of the world seemed so divided and complex and full of contradictions. Either I make good money or I have a job I love. Either I live in the US or I enjoy the beauty of the rest of the world. Either I respect you or I respect me. Either this is good for us or this is bad for us. Either I love you or I don’t. I couldn’t find myself or my path in all the divisions and many contradictions.

In many ways, I did exactly what I had been told I should do. I went to college, made friends, got a good job, paid my taxes, got married, and was nice to my neighbors and still, I felt homeless and disconnected. These “shoulds” weren’t working, so I tried other things. I quit my job; I gave away most of my clothes; I didn’t focus on beauty; I didn’t eat meat; I sat in meditation halls in India; I worked for free; I talked to strangers; I bought an expensive car; I fasted for days; I got lost in the rainforest; I struggled with money; I worked with children; I took workshops; I worked with the land; I worked with my hands; I moved overseas. All these experiences brought me joy and grief, good memories and interesting realizations, and often I found myself exhausted from all this searching. I still felt heartbroken, compromised, and with no sense of home. What was I missing?

I finally began reflecting and integrating all of these experiences and I began to notice what I love, how I could hold the paradoxes of life, where I make a difference and it brings me joy, where am I stretched to be of service to myself and others, what feels real and welcoming and where my compass lay. It has taken me quite some time to find my path that held everything I loved and where I actively belonged and it is still a work in process. Here I am home. Choose and journey from here. Wash your hair, prepare your dinner, write a list, visit with friends, work with integrity, connect with others, love with kindness and wild abandon, create with joy and passionate desire, protect with clarity and uncompromising care, meet the unexpected and painful with grace, and share with devotion and infinite gratitude

I am always here and it is always different. The path, the steps forward, the direction, and even sometimes the goals I chose yesterday may or may not be on point today. What I experience and learn informs my journey and the map forward is recalibrated with each step. Some tales, companions, inspirations and artifacts you will find in these collections of blog posts will be from my journey, ones that have helped me find my way, and others will be from here shaping my journey forward. As I mentioned before I hope here you will find solace, inspiration, perspective, possibility, hope, and your own insights and trust in yourself and the world to find your way forward. Enjoy!